Listening, savouring and having fun.

In September I wrote myself a note in my December 31 block of my calendar that said "Are you having fun?" I was at a womens retreat and one of the objectives of the retreat was to look at what you wanted more of in your life.  I was thinking to myself I don't want to walk away from this little retreat all geared up and then forget about all we talked about. I mean really what's the point of that? So I wrote myself a note, and this week past I read the note. And I can tell you honestly, I am having fun. Sometimes that fun is work, sometimes it is leisure. Sometimes it's social and sometimes it solitary.

Right now I am having quite a bit of fun cleaning the studio basement and making our work stations better. I know that does not sound like fun for some but for me it is. Fun cannot be defined by a particular activity. It can only be understood by the person carrying out the activity. You get to define what is fun for you. And I get to define what is fun for me. Nurturing the studio is some of the best fun I have ever had. Each year I do a little something to make it better. I have a few projects on the go that will make it lovelier and more functional.

Usually this time of year I have fun picking out a new word for the year. Last year we did a little free workshop about this. This year I decided to go back to one of the first words I ever picked for a year, the word savour. I have six words on my list that I remember and have them pinned on a bulletin board in my studio. Last year my word was "Listen" and I did pretty good with it. I reminded myself of it most every day. To listen to the birds, the sound of the wind, to my husband, my coworkers, friends, and to listen to myself, to trust my inner voice, to listen to my spirit. And I still got a long way to go with the word listen, but I know that, and so there is hope. 

Savour. Savour the moment. Savour the taste. Savour the good. Savour the friendship, the love, the foolishness, the fun. That word I picked six years ago and it  is one that I will never let go. It is just too important. In fact whenever I have worked on a word for the year I don't finish with it. Most of us just carry it into the next year, and one word at a time we become more like who we want to be. And of course I fall off the wagon of all my words. I find myself forgetting the word, inhaling the plate of food, talking over others and basically being non-compliant with my ideal self. But the good thing is sometimes I notice this happening and in just noticing it I am able to catch myself and start again. So though I did not pick a word to guide me this year I do have some that matter a lot and I will be working on those. And new words will come. They always do.

I will be working on some big rugs. Perhaps one rug will be called Savour, and I will use my time working on it to reflect more closely on how I can add more of that word in my life. Right now I am dreaming of big landscapes and villages and flowers and trees and moose. Yes they are going to reenter my work this year I think. They are often quoted as being a symbol of sprit and resilience. For me they simply remind me of my parents and somehow the older I get, the longer they have been gone, the closer I feel to them.

I met a woman recently when I was in Ottawa and she told me that she too has been thinking of her mother more as she has aged. She feels closer to her and understands her more because now she knows what it is to be an older woman. I find it so interesting how we can have these chance encounters with people and yet we can sometimes connect so deeply with their thoughts and ideas. I had a brief lunch with her and our few sentences of conversation has resonated with repeatedly over the last month. I am so grateful we sat together and talked away. Our brief conversation will enter my rugs this year. My mother and father will return to my mats this winter. I don't know what they would think of showing up as moose but I do know they always encouraged me to trust my own judgement.  And so I will think about this.

I have work to do. I don't have anywhere I have to be. I have little bits of fun planned. And these things make me  happy. And that in itself is something to be glad about. A new year is a new beginning but it is also a continuation of all we have learned before. What we love and what matters does not change but somehow we see room for new possibilities and that is important in a good life. So I begin again 365 days to listen and to savour.