one thing may lead to another.
There are times where I feel I need a bit of a quest. When answers are inside of me but not yet spoken.
This leaves me unsettled. Full of something.
Hope maybe? Hope undefined. Hope, but you don't know what for.
I felt like this on Monday. I was sitting and hooking on a small rug and I could feel a soft little tension beginning to emerge.
I was listening to a podcast and I wondered if it was the two women chatting that was getting to me. Was it what I was listening to? It did not seem so. I was just feeling a bit rattled.
And then it occurred to me. Something at work was changing. Yes, there was going to be a change. Perhaps that was it. It always makes me feel a little overwhelmed when I am facing a change. When I am stepping into a new place.
I am still not sure of the answer. I just know that being unsure of what to do next is real for all of us. At times we take steps into the unknown with nothing more than faith, and belief, and hope. Sometimes when we feel unsettled there is no answer as to why. It, like any other feeling, is just a feeling. They are by nature ill defined yet we are expected to act upon them.
We actually expect ourselves to know what to do next. Such a big thing, to know what to do next? We cannot really know. We finish one thing and it leads to another mostly.
Mostly we follow.
And then there are those times when there is a change. Maybe not a profound change, maybe just a turn, or a veer to the right, but you cannot quite see what is beyond it so you move ahead. We humans are so brave that way. Whenever I stop to think about this I am flummoxed. We are all brave souls moving forward in hope. That makes us so beautiful.
- Deanne Fitzpatrick