loving what you have
I had a big nap one day this week. I had slept well the night before but still felt I needed a rest. So I went home, read my novel and fell asleep on the downstairs couch. The room used to be my retail studio in the old days. Now it acts as a dining room and living room and porch.
When I started to wake up I thought , "Wow this is so beautiful, Where am I?" I remember thinking, "If this home, then this is good." And then I realized I was in my own back room with it's white couches and dark book cases and suddenly I felt so grateful to be waking up there.
Recently I visited a friend and she was doing some renovations. I asked what she was interested in these days and she said making home made wine and loving my home. It occurred to me that I had not plumped up my home in a while. You know what I mean, freshened it up a bit. So this week I have been nurturing my home. Small things. I am making a new pillow cover. I spread a beautiful piece of French linen I had on a bed. I put some pillows in fresh white pillow cases. Not much really. Just intention. Just attention. These two words go together so well. They are the basis of love.
My home is important to me. It is where I nurture myself.
In turn I need to nurture it.
I am so glad I visited my friend and she reminded me of this. I remember living in a trailer with my parents behind my sister's house on a large rural lot. I was watching an old movie on a black and white tv and Katherine Hepburn said that the key to happiness was wanting what you have. That has stuck with me all my life.
I was happy then in the comfort of my parents home.
I am happy now in the comfort of my own.
Whenever I get aspirational or feel kitchen envy, or wish my walls were smooth and white I remember that moment. I was only sixteen or seventeen then and I knew Ms. Hepburn was telling the truth. I know it now. May I know it always.
So when I woke up in a daze, lost in a dream, wondering if I was somewhere else only to find that I was home and that those walls around me were my own I felt so lucky.
So lucky to love what I have.
For we can have a lot, or we can have a little. What matters most is that we are thankful.
- Deanne Fitzpatrick