Social batteries

As we get older we are told to socialize more because it is good for our brains. It helps with the aging process. Apparently research shows this. I also know that most people as they get older start to value the rest and reserve they get from being at home. We start to see solitude as comfort. So we seek balance, that word that is so hard to actually find in life.

Lately I have noticed that my social batteries are running low. It might just be a week of too many outings and parties. Honestly, I have no idea how people with busy social lives keep up. I have friends who are on the go all the time and live for five o'clock wine and dinners. They go from one thing to another with ease and grace. I was not made for that.

Recently I was on my way into a party and I had that entry dread. I hate the walking in and all the little hugs and hellos and not knowing what to say. Even when I love the people the entrance is always a little hard for me. Once that's over I am able to relax and enjoy myself. But sometimes walking in, or actually it is thinking about walking in that overwhelms me. So why think about it...just walk in for goodness sakes. Forget about yourself and think of others.

In the last week I have had eight social commitments. Normally I have two or three. And so I find myself ready for an impasse on the social scene. I need to go home make noodles and parmesan for supper and read a mystery. I want to sit in the yard by the side of my barn and drink a cup of herbal tea. And I will. 

And after doing this for a few days I will yearn for some socialization again, and I will appreciate it. I think right now I have too much of a good thing. People getting together and reaching out to one another is good. I love it. I want it in my life. And I want to appreciate it. So I need to. 

My mother in law in her seventies said she only wants one thing a day. I remember thinking I will never be like that. A day is meant to filled. And now I understand. Her wisdom was to stay active and engaged but not too active. She knew what she could handle. This week I actually learned something new about myself. I learned what I could handle. It has been a long time since I felt my batteries cutting out because I have been careful at maintaining a balance. When I let that balance tip into either too much or too little socializing it is not good for me. And this of course goes back to knowing yourself and paying attention to how you are feeling. To ask yourself why you feel that way, to be in tune to your heart, your body, your mind. Sometimes I forget to pay attention to thy own self. And this can lead to all kinds of funky feelings.

So today when I was with a group and I began to drift off I caught myself and understood that it was time for tea on the porch. It was time to capture a quiet moment, time to rest and restore. And so now after I write this, I will go visit my friend in the nursing home and head home for the quiet of the empty house. And perhaps I should just go straight home but life is not all about me, it's about love and meaning, and even when you are a bit tired sometimes there maybe someone else who matters. After that though, I need to take time because I matter too. Rest. Restore and Return. Charge the batteries.