It's your turn to talk

I have a friend who lets me go on and on and repeat myself. She is the same friend who goes on and on to me and sometimes repeats herself. It is something we do for each other. And it is comforting. She is away for a few weeks so I am missing her. 

Having someone listen to you is a great gift.

Listening to someone is a lovely thing. 

There are times when we need to be listened to and times we need to be the listener. 

Every morning I remind myself to talk less and listen more.

Some days I do ok.

Since I started reminding myself of this I have noticed I am a better listener. Not perfect of course. Sometimes I am waiting to jump in. Sometimes I am distracted. Sometimes I am bored or tired or my brain is firing on all cylinders. I only try. 

Last week a friend of mine listened to a friend of hers for a few hours. She felt privileged to be able to hear someone's story. She enjoyed every minute of it. When she came home she was tired. She called me later and said she found that she was exhausted. Of course she was. Really listening is serious brain work. You are processing sentence after sentence, bringing them together, consolidating ideas, and seeking to understand. 

And it is ok to feel tired or overwhelmed when you have done this for someone else. It is no reflection on you. It does not necessarily mean that the other person talked too much. Though that does happen, let's be honest. Being tired because you really listened is an honest response to good work. It's normal, especially if you have a bit of the introvert in you. 

I get tired too when I listen a lot. And sometimes when I am listening it occurs to me it would be fun to be the one talking. Then I remind myself that I will get a turn sometime. But really when we take the time to be with someone and hear them out it is really the best thing we can give them. 

I always want to give solutions but people are not looking for those. I must remind myself of that. They don't need ideas as they often have their own. Mostly they just want to tell their story, to be heard, to have the chance to hear themselves think out loud. It feels good to talk for many of us. It lightens our load and sometimes just saying things out loud gives us a sense of direction.

A walk with the words blowing in the wind.

A cup of tea with stories rising in the steam.

A chance encounter.

Everyone is waiting to be heard.