Gifts

A gift is a special thing. Especially when it says I thought about you or I want to share some of myself with you. And some people are very good gift givers. They keep others in their mind all year long as they go about their lives and always seem to be able to find that special thing.

The other day I was at a wedding shower and the bride received one of the loveliest most thoughtful gifts. She was presented with a gift that her grandparents had given to her guest nearly forty years before as a wedding present. The guest wrote a card explaining that the beautiful Waterford crystal bowl had been given to her and wrapped the bowl for the bride. The bride was touched because of the sweetness of the gift and her warm memories of her grandparents who were both deceased. We all were touched by the tenderness of this gift and the memories it brought to us.

I have been fortunate enough over the years to have received many thoughtful and beautiful gifts. Sometimes it is a book left on my desk or a loaf of bread left at my door. 

The most beautiful gift I ever received was on Christmas morning when my children were still young. My mother in law wrapped for me one of her bracelets. It was one she was wearing when I met her and it had history. In the nineteen forties, Theo her husband bought her three bracelets in Beirut when they were courting. That morning she gave one to me, and the other two to each of her daughters. I loved her willingness to part with something she held so dear and that she was treating me like a daughter. I was deeply touched.

Both of these gifts were not something that someone went out and bought. Instead they were things they parted with. Things that held stories, associations, reminders of love, and in this they were made extra special gifts. It is a rare thing that we are able to find or give the perfect gift, so when we do it feels really good. And that is the thing about a gift it is something beautiful for the giver as much as it is for the recipient. When I find or think of something beautiful for someone else it makes me really happy. I cannot wait to give it to them, to see them connect. A gift is meant to please another person. It should give them joy in its use.

My mother, like your mother probably, would often store gifts in her bottom drawer and they would accumulate there for when she needed them which was seemingly never. Now that I think of it these may have been things she did not want. And this does happen with gifts, creams you don't use or soaps that are too strong, shirts that don't fit.  And so that brings us to regifting, which for me is a strong no if you are going to wrap it up a present it like something you prepared especially for someone. However I think it is fine if you pass the item on , not as a gift, but as a token, saying it was gifted to you but you cannot use it and ask them if they would like to have it. This is just my opinion., and we know there are many different opinions about regifting. I like it better than just collecting because it gets the thing out into the wild to be used and enjoyed. Somethings just need to find the right home.

One of the things I like to gift is my favourite little luxuries. The things I use and enjoy. My favourite tea, salt, soap, wine etc. So I buy a few extra of these things to share with others on special occasions. When I go to small stores or visit studios I buy little items for my gift basket so I have some sweet things to pick from when I need a birthday gift. I know this is cheating of sorts. It is not like I go out a pick  the perfect gift out for the occasion but I pick it from my little store of things that I love and that I bought from small independents. I sometimes pick up books, or pottery mugs, or gorgeous napkins and I keep these on hand. When I think I want to get a gift for someone I shop in my little basket.

Other times like the wedding shower I just went to I try to pick out the perfect gift. I knew the bride and knew she liked my friend Ghita's pottery and so I went and bought her a bowl. And this always feels best . It is the most thoughtful thing to pick them out exactly what you think they might like.  

I enjoy giving gifts. It is one of my love languages. I like seeing my daughter wear the rosary necklace I bought for her, or hear my friend say they spent all day reading the book I gave them. My son has my rugs throughout his home. Gifts are important symbols of how we feel about another person. They are meant to be  imbued with meaning and affection, rather than just another thing to accumulate. And so when I give someone a gift that is not quite right I encourage them to pass it on and share it with someone they know. Let it go and find it a home. And I am always slightly sad that I did not hit the mark but I remember there is next time.