The dishwashers

Last night after an afternoon party and early supper I went to the kitchen to wash some dishes for the host. It's funny how we never mind washing other peoples dishes. And I like the host to come in and find a nice surprise of a cleaner kitchen. As I did two young women who I knew only a little joined me to dry, load the dishwasher and clean the counters. And honestly, I have to say being with them and getting to know them made my night better. I had only drank Perrier so I was in top form. One of these two beauties had been imbibing (maybe both?), and after working together for ten minutes she said, "Doing the dishes is not bad when you got a buzz on." And I smiled to myself. God love her, and she has so many dishes left to do in her life, mostly without a buzz on.  

We were happily working away together in the kitchen, goal in mind. They were telling me about their work and their studies. And I was completely interested. One's a traveller and lives abroad, the other is close to home and going to be a teacher. They were both beautiful and smart and interesting. And polite, helpful and kind. So many good qualities were happily making that kitchen sparkle. 

They were quick and efficient and bringing in platter after platter to be scoured. It was a whole new party in that kitchen. They covered the dining room table with the clean dry dishes so the host could put them away after her fifty guests called it a night. It was their energy that I loved. And it made me think that I don't spend enough time with young women in their early and mid twenties really listening to them. When I see them now their concerns seem so different from what mine were at that age. I really have no idea what their experience is and I am interested. Having been with them yesterday, I think as older women we might have more in common with young women then it might at first appear. We were there on the cusp of life. We were beginning. We remember. It is a different time but the emotional experience of being a young person at the beginning of a life is timeless is some ways. The interior experience of starting a career, or trying to find one in the first place is not something we forget. 

I work with two women that age but we are always talking about the studio. This week I should ask them what the world is like for them in this time and place. I have always had older friends but rarely do I seem to have younger ones, and after being with "the dishwashers" it reminded me of the importance of cultivating friendships with people of all ages. And how life can be more interesting if we get a glimpse of the current times through different eyes and different ages . 

Yesterday I wanted to ask "the dishwashers" twenty questions each but I held back because it wasn't an interview it was a little kitchen party. I did not want to be seen as the nosy older woman, even though that is exactly what I was.  And now this morning I ask myself, "Is it really nosy to want to know how someone else sees and feels in the world? Or is it not the kind of curiosity that builds connection and support across women of different generations? Is it not good to want to know the experience of another? What I should have asked them last night are questions like these...

How do you think the world is different for you starting out than it was for me or your mothers starting out thirty five yeas ago?

What do you love to do?

What do young women expect in friendships? in relationships now?

Who do you admire?

What do you dream for yourselves?

These big questions might be too much over the dishpan and I was too shy to ask them. But I wanted to know and I still want to know. I want to listen and hear, and if they want I am happy to share some of my story too. I enjoyed being here with them up to my elbows in soapy water hearing them chip away to each other and being in their presence. Thanks to the dishwashers for helping to clean the kitchen. You made my night.