Silence in the house

There are so few places where we get to be in complete silence. But when we do we feel it. We feel the hum of the silence as if someone were holding us in their arms and rocking us. I felt that here just now for a few moments. And I have learned that you have to listen for the silence, and when you hear it, you have to listen even more closely.

And I savour this.

I drink it in. I drink it up. Because it is tender and beautiful and fleeting.

Other people like noise, the radio on in the car, or the sounds of the tv on even if no one is watching. Some say they find it company. And I understand this. I just find it hard to collect my own thoughts when there is another conversation or a performance happening. I often want the quiet.

Sometimes I savour quiet in the company of others. To sit together and not talk. In the car with no radio on. Just driving along quietly. Or in the same room both reading and all you can hear is the turn of the page. Sitting happily together, in each others' company quiet and sure of the others presence and not having to say a word.

By yourself when the house is empty. No tv on, the occasional hum of the fridge. A quiet house. And then the house creaks because a house creaks. Everything is silent and you hear the shift. A sound from no where. You wonder what it is and you remember that the house itself has a life of its own. Boards joined together for a hundred years meet the wind and then there is a sound. Things settle.

I like a quiet house because I can hear myself think. I like how when there is no music or tv on you can hear the birds, or the poplars rattling in the wind, or just the wind itself. I like how you can hear these things without your thoughts being interrupted. In a way these natural sounds seem to help my focus. They remind me where I am and give me a centred feeling. All noises are not like this. Some noises distract me terribly. 

I find it hard to read with when there is music on or people talking on television. I can but it is a different experience. One in which I have to call upon all my focus. And my attention is more on my focus than on the words I am reading. It is like the words in the songs interrupt the story I am reading. My brain wants to follow both. It cannot do both activities together.

Sometimes I like an audio book if I am doing a task. This works for me. If I am cooking, or hooking a rug, or making something I enjoy letting my mind be carried away into a story as my hands work on something else. Then I find a comfort in disrupting the silence. It lulls me into the making and charms my hands and settles my mind.  And this I know is just me. It is how my brain works and I need to respect it and respect others at the same time. Some people like the tv on inn the background, and that is how their brain works.  

So at work and at home I don't always get to choose the sound of silence. Sometimes I have to just roll along to the sounds of life. Just some days you are there all alone, and you listen for a second and all you hear is a gull flying by and you realize how lovely that is. And you think about how much you like it. And you know it suits you well.