Little love letters to the new year

I love the New Year. A fresh book, a begin again, a starting over. It is a time of renewal. A time to assess, to count blessings, and consider what has been.

I start in late November preparing for the years end. I know that is early. I just love this time of year so I relish in it a bit. I begin thinking about what I have done in the past year that mattered and I write it all down. I write down all that happened that I think was significant. Yes, this takes hours. It makes me look closely at my life and think about what I am making of it. And since I only get this one life I want to make it worthy. I am a person who reflects and considers, so New Years is this very quiet internal celebration for me. I love starting a new chapter.

This week I will consider a word that I might carry into the new year with me. It will be not a resolution, I am done with those. Instead, it will be a promise to myself to consider what matters to me in this time and place. I will try hard to keep that word in my pocket and bring it home to myself on a regular basis. At times I will do really well, but at times I will forget. Then I will start over, there is a new year all year round if you want it. You can always start fresh. You can always begin again. 

I don't love to make plans. I don't want to know what I am doing next month, or next week. I like to be open to the day. But I do like to dream and imagine the possibilities. When I take the time to write down everything I have done, it often leads me to consider what I want to do. I was talking to Lily about this and she said "You are good at setting goals." and I said, "Lily, they are more hopes and dreams and prayers." And I thought to myself, yes, these writings that I do around the New Year are prayers. Just prayers. They are prayers of gratitude for the good that is, and notes of hope to the future. 

I go into next year aware of the mystery that it is, and I leave this one full of thanks for the mystery that it has been. For time is a mystery, that ethereal physical state that disappears as we are in it. Each moment whispering in our ear that we should know it for it will soon be past. 

So for me to be in the moment means I acknowledge my own experiences in the past year. I write notes to myself, little love letters about the good. I acknowledge what I have carried and I remind myself what I need more of or less of. I feel the idea of time and space around myself as the New Year approaches. I pay attention to what was, what is, and I pray for what will be.  

This mid winter time is a perfect time for growth. A perfect time to find a home in your heart for what you want to do with your life. It is a time to deepen, a time to retreat and a time to renew. And I love that. I love the chance to think about what it is that matters and begin to act upon it in some small way. One thing at a time. One small thing. And together they meet and make the difference.