More questions than answers and that's ok.
I don't claim to understand very much.
I have more questions than answers. I always have had.
Recently I have been reading the writings of some women artists from the last century. And one thing that I do know that in their time and place they were puzzled too. They had deep concerns about the world they lived in. They were worried about change, and loss, and violence. They too had many questions.
Sometimes it feels as if the world and time and place we live in is the most challenging ever. I think that is because it is our experience. We know it first hand. We feel it deeply. We only know this time and place and no other.
The women I am reading about felt their experience just as deeply. Prior generations had deep serious challenges in their world. They too felt that change was rapid. They had as many questions as answers.
I know that we face challenges that generations before us never had to face. Every generation has this experience. Something new, only to them. Civilization is always growing, changing and there has been and will always be new thoughts, new ideas, new challenges.
I found it quite reassuring to read these stories of female artists from another time. It left me feeling less unsure about change, knowing that they too experienced this. Their writing comforted me. Staying open to change isn't always easy. As I grow older sometimes I feel left behind. That my thoughts are not changing as quickly and easily as they used to. Reminding myself that I must continue to grow with the world is a constant. I am not static. I am living and growing. The world around me is living and growing. As long as I am here we are in it together.
In these letters the same concerns often arise for me in different ways. I listened this week as one of my best friends talked about not feeling as much a part of the world as they once did. How as they age they feel outside of things more. I knew this to be true for my parents too. I guess many of us will experience this. I sometimes experience myself. I don't want to retreat too much from the world. I like to listen to younger people, and watch their excitement and joy in life. I may not see things the same way, and that's ok because though we may be in the same time and place, we experience it differently because of our age.
So I struggle with change like the artists I am reading about did, like the young people I am watching now may, but I accept it and I roll along knowing that I am not alone.
- Deanne Fitzpatrick