Most of you know
Most of you know I am a seeker.
To others it might even look like I am in a race.
A race to get things done, to move on to the next thing. A race.
This came up the other day, and I said it does not feel like it to me.
That every night I sit to read and watch television.
Who would do that if they were in a race.
And my friend , Donny Miller said, "You just keep talking to yourself."
And I laughed. And I wondered. And I loved him still.
And maybe he is right. I don't even know I am in the race.
I think maybe my race is the same as yours.
I wonder if I am enough.
If I have done enough, seen enough, given enough.
By all accounts I have.
We are all enough just as we are. Each and everyone of us is infinitely enough.
Each of us may already be living our best life.
We do not have to seek. We do not have to be more.
I don't have to be more.
I don't have to race.
But nor do I want to step out of the race, that abundantly beautiful flow of ideas that can overfill my life.
The thing is I am grateful for the race. Perhaps I am in it and cannot see that clearly. If I am then I don't care because I got art to make.
And art is just not making rugs or books, it's making a life. It is building one thing upon another so each can become better and stronger.
The thing is I have more to give. I still have more in me. It never feels like a race to make, to write, to hook a rug, to draw a picture.
In fact every time I do one of those things more seems to rise to the surface.
They are like yeast for the bread.
That is why I am still creating and making. Ideas keep flowing because I feed the yeast.
So perhaps it looks like a race, but for me, it is just making. A new course, a new rug, a new pattern. They are all just a part of me that rises up to meet whoever is there, to meet you.
And when you have more to give, you need to keep finding ways to do that. We all have an abundance of creativity, even those of us who are unaware of it. It still remains within us, waiting for the race to start, or the bread to rise, or the heart to sing.
It is in you.
Creativity is in you.
And we are not always self aware. Sometimes things need to be brought to our attention. I am thankful for friends who do that, you know the ones, the ones who don't let you fool yourself.
They bring us back to think about ourselves and the way we are.
Thank you for reading. I'm so glad that you do.
- Deanne Fitzpatrick