Tiny slights and misdemeanors
Something happened to me. A simple thing.
A small slight. For a moment I was offended.
And then I thought for a second and realized that it was not about me.
I was just taking it personally.
That really, when I really considered it, it was nothing to be offended about.
I smiled to myself and moved on. It can be easy to take offence.
Really though, so often, it is a choice to be offended.
A choice to hold a grudge.
A choice not to hold a grudge is just as easily made.
So often an offence is just a little miscommunication. It might be about people having different needs at the same time. It might be about someone feeling a little off. It might be nothing at all. So often it is about nothing at all. Just a moment in time best forgotten.
A long time ago I read a little essay about how we can choose not to be offended and it was revolutionary for me. That I could choose to let things go. That I could choose peace and understanding instead of feeling offended.
I know in my own dealings with people I never want to hurt anyone. And I think most of us are the same. We would choose never to offend. It would make me sad to think I did. I Iike to give other people the benefit of the doubt, and I hope others extend it to me. That means I try to choose peace whenever I can.
The thing about carrying a grudge (Yes, I know we have all carried around one or two) is that it lays heavy on your shoulders. Forgiveness on the other hand gives you wings. Wings made of feathers lightens your load.
It isn't easy. I know it isn't easy. I know it's hard actually sometimes.
Right now I am just talking about the small slights. The stupid comments. The haughtiness of an acquaintance, the little put down from an encounter. These things are not worth carrying around. They are an unnecessary burden.
- Deanne Fitzpatrick