finding the words
The day was a bit grey. I had just hung one of my favourite dresses on the line hoping the rain would hold off. I got my breakfast together and sat to read the magazine by Jo Packam, What Women Create. I love this magazine. When it comes I savour it. I love the stories, the imagery, and the focus on creative businesses.
As I poured through it I saw a quote that struck me. Then I kept reading, passing it it by. Then I said, "I need that quote." I need to read it again and again for a while. So I went back to the page in the beautiful magazine and I folded it over to a nice crease and I tore the darn thing out.
I needed it. So I wrecked the page and some would say the magazine and I came to town and posted it on my board above my desk.
I loved ripping out that page. I knew Jo Packham would approve cause she is all about making and studios and getting what you need for your life as an artist.
So liberty. That's what tearing a page out felt like and I needed that freedom. And now I'll do it again sometime. Not just anytime. But sometime.
Sometimes just what you need to hear is laid right in front of you. It there on the page. And breezing by it is not enough. You need to own it. You need to integrate it. You need to feel it. So for that to happen you need it again and again for a while until you don't need it anymore. Until you need to hear something else.
So what did I need to hear today?
Well here it is.
Maybe you need to hear it too?
"You either walk inside your story and own it, or you stand outside your story and hustle for your worthiness." Brene Brown.
And this quote resonated for many reasons.
But mostly it was a reminder to love my own story.
To carry it with me.
Even as I read the stories of glorious successful people who are influencers and artists and have a hundred thousand followers, and for whom success looks like a big blooming bouquet of peonies, I must cherish and love my own story. For it is my own. Perfect in what it is.
And that everyone else's story is theirs and what it looks like to me is just what it looks like to me.
We can call out for attention or we can just be ourselves and see what comes. We cannot make others interested in us or "follow" us. That is up to them.
We cannot make people care about us or love us by being anything other than ourselves.
But we can be ourselves.
"We" are all we have. I am just me. You are just you. Each of here. Each of us our self.
We can become more fully ourselves.
We can remember that we are already worthy.
That we are loved.
And we can go about our lives, remembering where we came from, what love really is, and how we can be good to others.
That us in full bloom. That's our bouquet of wild flowers, or peonies, or whatever it is you love. We have our own story. A beautiful intricate interesting story that is woven together by us and for us. We don't have to hustle for the joy and mystery of that. It's already marvellous.
- Deanne Fitzpatrick